Stupid Sues
by scarlet phlame
Summary: Hermione and Ron read FanFiction. They aren't pleased.


**_Summary: Hermione and Ron read FanFiction. They aren't pleased._**

_**AN: Sort of a rant in story form. **_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

_Once upon a time, there was a really, really pretty Veela witch girl person with bright red, straight, curly hair that was shoulder length and dipped down to her waist. _

_She had gleaming bright blue green eyes that looked like the ocean and were red as the color of the moon. Which was red. Everyone knows the moon is red. Stupid people. (**AN: OK, DON'T FLAME MY STORY PREPS.**)_

_She was the sister of Hermione and she was dating Harry Potter, because she was obviously awesome. She had been Harry's sister and had grown up in an orphanage in Uncle Vernon's house with him. Except she'd really been Hermione's sister, but they were separated at birth. But Hermione was jealous of her, because she had wanted to date Harry._

_"He is mine you pathetic idiot!" Hermione screamed in a hushed whisper._

_"There was no comma in that sentence, but there should have been one!" the witch Veela girl shouted at her. (**AN: Ok, preps, I forgot to tell you her name.**) Her name was Ginger Goldilocks Miranda Coraline Alice Hedgeston. (**AN: But you can also call her Alice for short, 'cause that's what everyone else calls her.**)_

_"Harry is not anybody's, he is his own person, and he belongs to me!" Hermione yelled silently._

_Ginger Goldilocks Miranda Coraline Alice Hedgeston flipped her rainbow-hued hair like a pancake and beamed pleasantly at Hermione. "I hope you die and go to heaven!" she shouted._

_"GASP!" said Hermione._

"This is so stupid!" Hermione roared, shutting down the Muggle device and scowling at it disdainfully. "Who would even write this- this- this- unattractive, foul, _disgusting_... I can't even!" The redhead threw her arms up in the air in frustration.

"You know, most people would say it was junk and go read another fanfiction," Ron advised wryly, taking the laptop from her hands and clicking on another link.

"But who would even invent fanfiction?" Hermione shrieked. "When have you ever called me "Mione"? And who came up with "The Golden Trio"?"

Ron shrugged. "They can't all be bad. Try this one."

_once uposn an dimte there was a disriminating person naemd herminie who evryone hatesd. lol. so then she said, -imho, i like dogs-._

_-well wehate dogs so you will die-, harry potter said._

_-OH NO- hermione screamed and then she died because harry killed her. beause he knew the killing curse thing._

_the end_

_please leave a review and be gentle this is my first story ever Ok?_

"And I was wrong," Ron said.

Hermione buried her face in her hands. "Don't Muggles have that thing called Spell Check?!"

Ron shrugged. "I'll sort it by reviews. See, here's one. I'll read you the summary. '_Hermione is kidnapped by an evil wizard, Draco, who has been sent to kill her. The two begin an enigmatic, pulchritudinous relationship which Ronald Weasley then attempts to intercept. Hermione is given the chance to kill Ron, but she is unable to. Draco is furious with her after Ron goes after his father. Will Draco forgive Hermione? Will Hermione end up with Draco? Will Ron let them go?_'"

"Will the author ever stop asking questions?" Hermione moaned. "Who even- Draco Malfoy? Of all people?! Why would I- oh, this is ridiculous!"

_I Hate You, I'll Make You_

_AN: Hi, so I'm a bit depressed. Please leave a review and don't be mean or I'll kill myself. Thank you. (If you don't leave three reviews, I will kill myself. Thank you.)_

_Rainbow colored blood dripped down the walls. Hermione was sobbing loudly now. Everyone around her had died. She'd watched Ron die slowly as Draco Malfoy had stabbed him repeatedly in front of her._

_Her wrists were tied to the wall. She'd been here for God knows how long. She was probably going to die here, alone, in the never-ending darkness, surrounded by consuming wisps of toxic-shaded death. It was horrible._

_The stench of blood clung to the walls. Rivulets of blood ran down her cheeks. An empty rose was blooming in the corner. It was completely red, fed only by the blood of her friends._

_There was only one thing left to do. She closed her eyes and held her breath, and drowned herself in the blood of her friends._

_The end_

_P.S. Please leave a review. Thank you._

"...What the bloody hell did we just read?" Ron mumbled, voicing all the thoughts hanging in the room. Hermione opened her mouth to say something, but closed it promptly.

"Muggles are so strange," she grumbled.

"Hey, what's Wattpad?" Ron wondered aloud.


End file.
